Tag Archives: Love

Fairy Tales?

Cinderella_PhotoSo after all the adventure… the biggest one was yet to come. (To catch up go here.┬áThe newer posts are first so you have to go to the end and read up.)

I was at Justin’s house when he got a call. One of those calls you NEVER want to get. His dad had been in an accident and was being flown via LifeFlight to the hospital. Everything stopped. Life as he knew it would never be the same. One moment. Something you cannot predict.

It was a long stay. Very emotional. Lots of ups and downs both physically and emotionally. Family and friends visited. Tears, prayers, and hugs were standard.

The night we had planned to stay overnight at the hospital, Justin asked me if I wanted to get dinner before going. We were going to celebrate Valentine’s Day early. He picked me up and we did eat dinner. Afterwards though, he took me to the Transco Tower fountain. It was a place we had visited often. It’s where we shared the deepest parts of our lives. The good and the bad. All of it. He took his guitar out and started singing. We had done this many times so it was not unusual.

I remember the weather being perfect. I felt relaxed for the first time since the accident. I was with the one I adored and he was singing. All was right in my world.

Then he said he had written a song for me. I was so flattered. No one had ever done that. I was thinking that it was the best Valentine’s gift ever. As he was singing, I realized he was proposing to me IN SONG! Seriously. It was the most romantic moment of my life. I cried until he finished the song and then he pulled a ring box out of his guitar case and asked me to marry him.

Tears. And more tears. Happy ones.

Of course I said yes. I mean, really. We had been dating for 6 years. I loved him. Adored him. Of course I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. In that moment I felt so blessed.

I was so caught off-guard because of the situation with his dad. He said he had already asked my parents and talked to his dad about it. His dad knew he was going to ask me to marry him that night and he knew his dad would want him to still ask me. He had the whole thing all planned out in advance. What girl doesn’t love that? There’s just something about being thought of that much.

SO the night was emotional. On one hand, I was THRILLED and overjoyed and every kind of GREAT feeling word a brain can imagine. On the other hand, his dad was in the hospital and it wasn’t looking good. My heart broke for his family. Watching their grief from the outside was awful. I was not a member of the family yet and so there were things I could not participate in. But my heart broke just the same.

That night as we stayed at the hospital we dreamed about our wedding. We had so many ideas. I couldn’t stop looking at my ring. It was so perfect. His family was excited. I called my family to tell them. Others in the waiting room heard the story. I was beaming.

That night I truly thought fairy tales were real. I was FINALLY getting married. Something every girl (or most anyway) dreams about. I would be Cinderella and he would be my prince. Well, except I wasn’t blonde and I wouldn’t be wearing a blue dress. ­čśë

But our new adventure, I just knew, would be awesome.

One

Coloring-Pages-Stencil-of-Number-1Christmas is one of my all-time favorite holidays. I love everything about it. The time with family, the fun events, the shopping, the giving, the eating (oh, the eating!), the music, the sweatpants on a cold night (Because I need them from all the eating – HA. No, seriously.), the time off work, the lights… every.single.thing.

With Christmas, there also comes a flood of emotions. Unpacking Christmas ornaments and remembering a whole life-time ago, or so it seems. Each ornament a glimpse of a previous life. A life I don’t even recognize anymore. A box upstairs holds ornaments I’ve not been able to even unpack. Too many memories. Of all the things, it’s the one Christmas thing I kept. One.

This year has been no different. I so long to rest in the real reason for this season. We have been focusing our nightly bible studies on the names of Christ… hanging each name as an ornament on our tree. A tradition that began last year. A human attempt to not miss the baby. The King. The Savior. The Lord.┬áThe One.┬áDetermined this year not to get so caught up in all the fun traditions that I forget the one thing that matters. One.

And yet, our Christmas traditions are in full swing. And oh how I love a good tradition! It’s been a wonderful December, in that regard. Christmas parties, decorating the tree, cards, concerts, Journey to Bethlehem, hanging lights, festivals and fake snow, candy making, shopping, wrapping, light searching, caroling, Crazy Christmas Show … wonderful.

But here’s the thing… although things have been so wonderful, I knew deep in my heart I was missing it. A part of my heart I kind of closed, not wanting to hurt or feel. It wasn’t intentional and I didn’t even realize it had happened. Things I had boxed up and put away. Until tonight.

Sitting in the quiet and sipping hot tea, I clicked to listen to Hallelujah. A version of this song that I LOVE. As I watched the Christmas lights on the tree and listened to the words the tears began to fall. The Christmas story is amazing. More than amazing, really. A story my mind cannot even fathom.

And that’s when it happened. A whisper in my heart. A voice I needed to hear that reminded me of the one thing that never changes…

God’s love for his people.

All throughout the Old Testament you see God’s undying love for his people. Even when they screwed up, he always had a way for them to return. Always. Over and over again. And then He sends a baby. The one baby in history that literally changed the world. And still does.

In fact, He still changes hearts. Even those that have been closed and boxed away. Those marked “trash” or “donate”. Those too emotional to bear. He would gladly take them all. No hiding. No embarrassment.

Only love.

So tonight, for the first time this season, I am refreshed. The traditions are fun and I’ve loved them, but a bit of perspective about it all has helped.

Because He is the only one that matters.

And we are the only ones that matters to Him.

Adventure Is Out There

coloradoSo the first kiss started quite the adventure. (To get caught up go here first and then read up, as the last post was the first. Get it? There… now read on.)

I cannot even count the number of times *Justin and I were up late just talking. I loved talking with him. I loved learning about his life, his goals, his dreams. He had big dreams and I loved that about him.

He was also rugged and spontaneous, two traits that I happen to find extremely attractive. My favorite memories of our years of dating are the times he’d call when I got off work and tell me to pack a bag. He had a tent and would pack up a few necessities and we’d be off for the weekend to explore God’s creation together.

Hiking, fishing, boating, biking, exploring, camping… right up my alley. He would build a fire and we would sit next to it while he played his guitar and sang. *heart melted* We were under the stars and it felt like nothing would ever separate us. I mean, we were BEST friends. I told him everything and he did the same. The more I knew about him, the more I loved him.

Our adventures took us all over… from Galveston’s beach to the Grand Tetons in Wyoming. We were travelers who loved the getting there part as much as the actual destination. Never once did we have an itinerary. I’m not that kind of traveler and┬áfortunately┬áhe wasn’t either. We would stop when we wanted, stay where we wanted, and just keep driving if we were so inclined. No schedules, no rules.

Our adventurous spirits met up during those years. I have pictures in albums and memories in my heart. The only things left of those years. I miss having an adventurous friend that will pick up and head out to explore with me. Someone who shares my love of traveling without rules and schedules and deadlines, etc. Why go on an adventure if you have a time frame? The best things are found by accident.

But to be honest, I miss my best friend. He knows me better than anyone on the planet… or did. Not so much anymore, but I do miss it. It’s a by-product of divorce no one talks about. The emptiness. The void. The hole that’s left when your best friend is gone.