A friend recently asked me how I make it alone with three children. The answer to that question depends on the moment, the day, the week. Sometimes it surprises me that people think it’s so hard. I mean, I do the same things I did before. The same things that any Mom does…. everything….lol. OK, so maybe not everything, but almost 😉
And sometimes the question brings tears, as I literally do not know. There are days I do not want to get out of bed. Days that I am not loveable, not patient, not kind, not a lot of stuff; simply going through the motions, so that I can crawl back into bed. The place that signals the end of another day.
I can say that I do not travel this road alone. Of course the ONE who created me knows what I can handle and I have learned to lean into Him more and more. Then there are those that literally walk WITH me. They let me vent, cry, laugh, be silly, and scream. Those that do not tire of hearing the same stuff and are always available. My family (blessed beyond measure that God allowed me to be the daughter of George and Jackie Burke) and friends who have become family.
Others step in and out and bless me even when they don’t realize they are doing it. Like the Mom who gave my daughter a shirt to tie-dye, because I did not have time to get one. Or the sweet teachers that have kept Brooke after school all year, so that I can work. Those are two examples but I have a large list of blessings that I keep in a journal by my bed. No blessing is taken for granted or forgotten. It’s my “gratitutude list” at the end of the day to remind me of how God is meeting my needs and even some of my wants.
You cannot appreciate how difficult a situation can be until you are the one in it. ANY difficulty. I recently read an article about autism and thought of one sweet friend who is raising two boys with autism. One article could not possibly give me an idea of how hard it is to raise two children with autism, just as one answer could not possibly explain the difficulties that come with being a single Mom.
But I can say that I am blessed. I have joy. I talk to God much more than I did. I do not take for granted the times I spend with my children. I like who I am. And surprisingly, I like where God has me.