This morning I read Jen Hatmaker’s blog about marriage – Growing Up Together. If you’ve not read it and you’re married, she has some good advice. If you’re single, maybe you shouldn’t read it. I only say that because it kinda wrecked me today. Reading about marriages that are strong or have come through a lot but are still together is like a reminder every single time about what I no longer have.
Granted, there was some not-so-good things (ok, let’s just say it… crappy) that happened but for the first 8 years or so I was the luckiest girl on the planet. He was sexy, talented, funny, and my best friend. There are days that I still miss my best friend. Today is one of those days. Ugh.
No one tells you when you’re getting divorced that you’ll still have sad days… even three years later. I’d like to think that it eventually goes away but for those who married their first love and was passionate about the marriage and the spouse, I think it may linger longer. Unfortunately.
Just as there is no handbook for grief, there’s no handbook for divorce. It’s hard and it hurts. There’s really nothing anyone can say that takes away that deep, down sadness and hurt that comes up on occasion. And that’s OK. Feeling it and giving yourself the freedom to be sad is just part of moving out of that stage of grief – again.
There are those that will think you need to just suck it up and move on. Or they’ll think you’re being too dramatic or needing attention or whining. What they think doesn’t matter. What matters is that you are honest with yourself and others. Don’t pretend all is well when it’s not. That will only make you feel isolated.
One of the things that helps me on days like today is meditating on God’s Word. Something that is true and unchanging. Because honestly, my emotions can go ALL over the place and I need something stable. And let’s face it, just because we feel something doesn’t mean it’s true. (Reminding myself of that fact today.)
Here’s the verse I’m meditating on today and praying tomorrow is a hope-filled day:
“The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fail, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.” -Psalm 37:23-24
Stand strong, my friend.