Category Archives: My Story

This is the story of when I fell in love for the very first time. Unfortunately, it didn’t end with “happily ever after”.

Adventure Is Out There

coloradoSo the first kiss started quite the adventure. (To get caught up go here first and then read up, as the last post was the first. Get it? There… now read on.)

I cannot even count the number of times *Justin and I were up late just talking. I loved talking with him. I loved learning about his life, his goals, his dreams. He had big dreams and I loved that about him.

He was also rugged and spontaneous, two traits that I happen to find extremely attractive. My favorite memories of our years of dating are the times he’d call when I got off work and tell me to pack a bag. He had a tent and would pack up a few necessities and we’d be off for the weekend to explore God’s creation together.

Hiking, fishing, boating, biking, exploring, camping… right up my alley. He would build a fire and we would sit next to it while he played his guitar and sang. *heart melted* We were under the stars and it felt like nothing would ever separate us. I mean, we were BEST friends. I told him everything and he did the same. The more I knew about him, the more I loved him.

Our adventures took us all over… from Galveston’s beach to the Grand Tetons in Wyoming. We were travelers who loved the getting there part as much as the actual destination. Never once did we have an itinerary. I’m not that kind of traveler and fortunately he wasn’t either. We would stop when we wanted, stay where we wanted, and just keep driving if we were so inclined. No schedules, no rules.

Our adventurous spirits met up during those years. I have pictures in albums and memories in my heart. The only things left of those years. I miss having an adventurous friend that will pick up and head out to explore with me. Someone who shares my love of traveling without rules and schedules and deadlines, etc. Why go on an adventure if you have a time frame? The best things are found by accident.

But to be honest, I miss my best friend. He knows me better than anyone on the planet… or did. Not so much anymore, but I do miss it. It’s a by-product of divorce no one talks about. The emptiness. The void. The hole that’s left when your best friend is gone.

The World Stopped

world_globeAfter being a ducks for a few years (Read this first. Then this and then this. Now, you’re caught up and can continue reading. You’re welcome.) we went on a missions day to help people with our AWESOME Sunday School class from Second Baptist Church (I still keep in touch with them. GREAT people.). For the life of me I can’t remember who we were helping or what we were doing but what I do remember is being at *Justin’s apartment. We had served all day and there’s nothing more attractive than a man that serves others… and boy, was he attractive.

We were both sitting on the love seat (yes, it’s true), he held my hand and I turned around and kissed him. I KISSED HIM! AAAHHH! My heart was beating so fast I swear it could have come out at any second. But the best part was… he kissed me back. Two years of being friends and BAM we were officially a couple. Just like that. I’m pretty sure the world stopped for a second. I felt it. Not sure if you did, but take it from me, it happened.

The rest of the night I spent smiling. Smiling is my favorite (thank you, Elf) and boy, did I smile. I could not have smiled bigger or been happier. At this point in my life the only thing that measured up to the happiness I felt was graduating from Baylor. It was huge.

I still think about that first kiss. How special it was and my heart flutters still thinking about it. Even after all that’s happened between the first kiss… and the last. The first was the happiest day and the last was the worst. Only I didn’t know my last kiss was my last. But I do now.

If It Walks Like A Duck…

Photo credit: DH Wright via Flickr

Photo credit: DH Wright via Flickr

Capturing attention when you’re young and spunky and think the world is laid out before you isn’t hard. (If you’re reading this first, go back and read In the Beginning and Long Hair, Rock and Roll, and Love. This will make so much more sense. I promise.)

So basically, after getting his attention and FINALLY getting a first date, we went out for two weeks and I was loving every minute of having a boyfriend. One that I truly liked and respected. Then he gave me the line most Christian girls hear at least once in their life, “I don’t think God wants us to date. Can we just go back to being friends?” Um, yeah. Two weeks. Needless to say I was devastated. And by devastated, I mean I cried like a baby for at least a week. I was a mess.

Then it happened. Our Sunday school class was having a New Year’s Eve party and I was so hoping *Justin would invite me to go. But he didn’t. One of my good friends talked me into driving up to Dallas and going to her Sunday school’s class party. I did. It was fun but I was missing my peeps and wondering what *Justin was doing. Of course.

Upon my return I had LOTS of people from my class ask if I knew who he took to the party. Um, no… I was in Dallas. No texting, Tweeting or FaceBooking in those days. (Gosh,  I sound old.) Anyway, he’d taken the girl he dated in high school. The one named after a flower. The one he had told me about so I kinda knew her. Well, I knew about her. She was in college but was home on break. At that minute I knew why he suddenly felt like God was telling him we weren’t supposed to be together. I was young and naive but I’ve never been stupid. At that point, I thought my heart was broken. Of course knowing what I know now, it wasn’t, and didn’t even come close, but at the time that’s what I thought.

But being young and innocent and not lacking in having other boy prospects (lol) I decided that friends would be good. I liked him and if that meant being “just friends” then so be it. I could do that.

Funny thing is, we were “just friends” for years. And I mean for two years. Everyone treated us like a couple because hey, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck… it’s usually a duck.

We were definitely ducks.