Category Archives: Journal

Welcome Home to Me

I left for Colorado as a broken, emotionally drained shell of a person. Getting away was a blessing and one that I knew my Heavenly Father had planned for me. What I didn’t know is how difficult the journey would be.

Mourning would not even touch the depths of my grief the first few days. My body had rejected food for so long I couldn’t even taste what I was eating… until I heard my Savior sing over me. And I don’t mean a literal sing, but something amazing. A whisper in my soul that not only brought peace, but also joy. Something that shattered the empty, emotionally drained shell.

Reading, journaling, singing, and praying became my daily meal. The lessons I learned in 6 days have changed me and I am so, so thankful. A love affair that I once lost has now been found. A love affair with my Savior. I have missed him. He is my everything and I adore him. Not only did I began to taste food again, but I enjoyed it.

Being romanced by my First Love is an incredible experience. We talked while climbing mountains, watched the snow fall for hours, and sat in a hot tub under the stars while it snowed. The snow was white and covered EVERYTHING. It was pure. It was clean. And so was my heart… finally. Peace flooded my soul and I was no longer a shell.

The Sheila that walked off the plane was not the same one that boarded it only 6 days prior. My sweet kids gave me a “welcome home” party with a cupcake Morgan had saved ALL week for me :-) It was a great Welcome Home… not only because of my sweet kiddos, but because I knew my heart was home too.

A few days later it snowed in Katy. Some were surprised by it, but I knew my First Love was reminding me of our sweet weekend together. Oh how I love Him!

Never too Far

trikeLast week I wanted to get some exercise, so I asked my youngest if she wanted to ride her tricycle around the lake. Of course, she was thrilled. After lots of explaining that I might get ahead of her, we were off.

Needless to say, after only going  a short distance I heard her crying. Not jut a little tear, but a terrified scream. When I asked why she was so upset, she said because I was leaving her. I’d completely forgotten, that even though I had explained what was going to happen, she did not understand until she was seeing it for herself. My jog “around” the lake became more like jogging back and forth to stay near her. I’m sure my neighbors were wondering what I was doing.

This morning she was begging to go jogging. She assured me that she would not cry, because she knew I would be on the sidewalk with her, even if I was not next to her. I really did not feel like exercising, as it had been a good, but long weekend. Reluctantly, I gave in and she came out with her “big girl bike”. She’s gotten more and more confident on it, so I was excited that she chose to take it instead of the tricycle.

The first time around the lake she got off at every incline, not wanting to fall or go to fast. But there were no tears, only smiles and singing.

As we rounded the corner to go a second time, she decided to ride her bike on all the inclines. I kept an eye on her and watched with a bit of fear as she started down the incline where she would have to quickly turn or she would hit a tree or fall. When she made it, she had the biggest smile on her face. It was obvious to anyone that she was proud of her accomplishment. AND if anyone saw my face, they would have seen the same. She took a chance and was successful. Whew.

It reminded me of how my Father sees me. I’m sure there are times when I walk my bike, afraid of the unknown or of failure. In time, though, I often get on to ride and find that I can do the very thing I was afraid of.

There are so many inclines in life that I would have rather not taken, but did. Sometimes I fell, sometimes I succeeded, but EVERY time my Heavenly Father was right there. Even when I thought I was alone and cried out in fear, He was there.

In fact, He’s always there. Never too far to hear or see me. Never too far to smile with pride, as I master the very thing He has put in my path. Never to far.

Uniform

In college my roommate, Jaree, and I seemed to always wear the same thing when we hung out in our apartment. We jokingly started calling it our uniform.

Once one uniform would get holes and basically disintegrate we’d move on to another uniform.

Funny how things stay the same. The black pants in the picture have been my uniform for YEARS. I think I got them before Morgan was born. The material is getting thin but I still wear them because they are so comfy.

I did get a new uniform (brown pants) recently and I was surprised that I like them as much as I do.  I didn’t realize the change would be so easy.

That also describes lots of things in my life. I tend to hold on to something way longer than I should because it’s comfortable… good or bad. I’m learning that sometimes it’s good just to let things go. The thing that replaces it may end up being better than the original. AND trying new things helps to keep life fun.