Being Disciplined Hurts

Mother-Scolding-ChildAs a child, being disciplined hurt in more ways than one. Oh how I remember some of my not-so-great moments. Lying was a HUGE issue for me. My sweet dad always believed me and my poor Mom knew otherwise. She could always tell when I wasn’t being truthful. When the truth FINALLY came out not only did I hurt on my backside but my heart would hurt seeing the look in my dad’s eyes. I would have gladly taken a spanking over that look. Ugh, I hated that. Fortunately, I got caught enough to realize that telling the truth was so much better. And less painful.

I had an interesting conversation with a friend recently. A conversation that later made my brain go into high gear. You know, when you need to sleep and your brain keeps going. At times mine could put the energizer bunny to shame. It has even been known to function after taking melatonin. Strong-willed brain ๐Ÿ˜‰

As so many thoughts went through my head I decided to pick up my phone and read the verses I had studied at Beth Moore’s Tuesday night bible study. I figured distracting my brain would help me to put aside the conversation and hopefully get some sleep. Children of the Day is the name of the study and although I have missed the first two, I found Thessalonians to be filled with much more depth than I originally thought. Beth has a way of making the scripture come to life. I think it’s her drama, but I like it. :) I literally had tears as she described how Paul longed to know that the Christians in Thessalonica were OK. It was powerful.

Anyway, I tapped on my bible app to re-read the verses in Thessalonians and was surprised to find that James 4:11-12 was on my phone. It was weird. Weird because my bible app always goes back to the verse I read last… even a week later. Out of curiosity, I decided to stay and read it. Obviously it was there for a reason. It was God’s way of telling my brain to shut up. There were too many unknowns going on in there and when that happens my brain just makes stuff up. Stuff like – “You really can’t trust anyone.” Actually, I recognize that as the enemy. The one that comes to kill and destroy. He wants nothing more than to put doubt into a Christian’s mind about their faith and about others on the same road. Stupid enemy.

I ended up reading the whole chapter of James. God disciplined me a bit that night and although it stung at first, I was grateful that He cared enough to put the verses in James on my phone. Before I knew it I was asleep. Just like that.

So if you’re curious, here are a few of the verses in The Message:

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? vs 1

 

Don’t bad-mouth each other, friends. It’s God’s Word, his Message, his Royal Rule, that takes a beating in that kind of talk. You’re supposed to be honoring the Message, not writing graffiti all over it. God is in charge of deciding human destiny. Who do you think you are to meddle in the destiny of others? vs 11-12

Can I get an “ouch”?

Five Minute Friday – Again

1. Write for 5 minutes flat โ€“ no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking. (OK, I have to edit, I just do.)
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Then visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments.

Please give me your best five minutes on:

Againโ€ฆ

Awake. It’s early but I’m on a mission. There are things to be done for this day. Special things that do not happen every day; in fact, only once per year. My mind traces back over the past ten years. TEN! How did ten years pass when my mind is so clear about the exact moment our family changed? I can’t even recall what happened yesterday. But ten years ago? Clear.

Butterflies in my stomach. They were there ten years ago and they are here now. Here, because I anticipate the dimpled grin that will await me. The sweet kisses that I’ve enjoyed for ten years. They will soon go away but I will have ten years of remembering them. Surely those memories will stay clear, too.

Music plays (flute, to be exact), the house is decorated and ready, a blueberry muffin sits on top of the special plate, the girls and I sing, and we walk in the dark room to say…

Happy Birthday, again, to my handsome little man. Happy Birthday to the one whose birth chased away sad feelings, if only for a day. Happy Birthday to the boy who is ALL boy. The one that challenges me, makes me laugh, surprises me, tires me, and above all else, makes me a better person on this earth.

In this moment I’m honored to have been chosen to be this boy’s Mom.

Happy Birthday to my son.

Three Years

Three years. Just typing that brings me to tears. Three years ago today (1-22) I thought my life was over and in a way it was. The life that I knew anyway. It was devastating and haunting and the most painful thing I’ve ever suffered on earth thus far. Everything was dark and lonely and sad. I could not see anything but pain and my mind only went to dark places that I didn’t seem to be able to control. I could not hear anything but loss and grief. The sounds that came out of me are not sounds I ever want to hear again. Sounds of intense emotion and horror. Everywhere I went I felt like a neon sign – like everyone was starring at me… wondering. Wondering what I was doing, what I was thinking, how was I managing, etc. The stares were the worst. I just wanted to crawl in a hole and die. Seriously.

Three years. It’s amazing what God has brought about in those three years. He has blessed me with true friendships. Friendships that stood the fire. Those that allowed me to grieve and didn’t judge. New friendships that were born in adversity. Cherished friends who know me deeply and love me anyway. Oh how I love these people. People that God put in my path just when I needed them. They were the reason my children were fed and loved because Lord knows I could not do that for them. Family that supported me and held me and let me love in spite of the hurt. And still does. And continue to accept me with my hair color changes ๐Ÿ˜‰ A job that I love. Working with people who inspire me and stretch me and make me laugh. Vacations and trips that romanced my adventurer’s heart. Destinations with my kids so they could see God’s beauty. So I could be reminded that there really was still beauty. All blessings from a Heavenly Father that did not forget me or my children.

Three years. It’s exciting, really. Exciting to think about the next three years and all that those years may bring. Whether blessing or loss, I know that my Father will be at my side. He walked with me through some very dark places and kept me from getting lost. In fact, He knew exactly where we were going all along. A place of contentment, peace, and joy that alluded me for years.

Three years.