Another year and another “annual” post. I do love writing but it is not a priority right now. I happened upon my site (Thanks, Facebook memories) and read my post from last December and was reminded of things learned and things forgotten. Sure would be nice if once you learned something it was just part of who you are and you never had to re-learn it again. Apparently that’s not me so I find myself going through more learning. Lucky me, lol.
Life has hard lessons and they seem to find me quite often. I told my best friend not too long ago that I was so over being able to identify with others because that meant going through hard stuff over and over again. And yet, here I am again. However, being alive on this earth for 49 years in a place that is not “my home” will always have me saying, “It’s not supposed to be like this.” Anyone else?
I will say that through it all one thing has NEVER changed. God was with me every single minute. Bethel Music’s rendition of It Is Well says, “Through it all my eyes are on You. Through it all it is well.” This has proven to be true in my experience.
So just in case you need someone that truly understands where you are or what you’re going through I can relate with… depression, death of a family member, death of a close friend, miscarriage, loneliness, divorce, food addiction, anorexia, bulimia (because I also have issues making up my mind), parenting (enough said, right??), alcoholism, losing a job, betrayal by a friend, poverty, rejection, emotional abuse, suicidal thoughts, breast cancer scare, bullying, sexual abuse, pornography, drug addiction, physical abuse, and probably some I’m forgetting. Before anyone starts assuming when and where I experienced all that, this is over a 49 year life. No one person or event was responsible, some I walked through with a close friend, and many were of my own doing.
Reading those may seem depressing but honestly today I feel hope. Could be the sunshine after raining three days. Could be the fact I was able to exercise and get some endorphins flowing. But I know that in James 1:2-3 the bible says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” I can attest to the fact that the product of going through hard stuff brings perseverance which leads to hope. It also brings strength and courage like no other experience can. The strongest people I know have the hardest stories to tell. Don’t assume you know someone based on their “today”. Everyone has a story to tell and if you slow down enough to talk to them you might even learn something about yourself.
So this year I’m rounding out my “trials” with hope and thanksgiving. Not because I was thankful when I was going through them, but thankful that I’m not the person I was before I did… And hope that the person I am today is a much better person than before.
Merry Christmas and love to you all.